For the first time in recorded history, married couples are a minority in the state of Tennessee. According to statistics printed in The Tennessean, on May 12, 2011, only 48% of the households are headed by a husband-wife couple. Only ten years ago it was 52%. In the city limits of Nashville, if you peeked in the window of 100 houses, you would find a traditional husband-wife couple/family in only every third home! 

People are living together, not getting married.They’re living alone. They’re living with roommates. … The trend has definitely gone away from (marriage)!”
--Randy Gustafson, a researcher who studies census data at the University of Tennessee’s Center for Business & Economic Research in Knoxville

   Nationwide, not only are young adults waiting longer to get married, more of them are deciding to have children out of wedlock, and when the break-up comes, one of them has to raise the children by themselves. Does this mean that the sanctity of the marriage union is becoming obsolete? Only 39% of registered voters who described themselves as conservatives believe marriage is becoming obsolete, but that is up by 10% from the same survey in 1978. (Pew Research Reports)

Some of you really caught on to our teaching regarding the parental impact that is necessary in a child’s life between the ages of 5-9. You may be glad to know that Mature Ministries is expanding it’s research in that area and will soon be able to offer some specific ways parents can “fill their children’s little buckets” full of the things they need to have a great marriage, beginning with a healthy concept of a Holy God!

In doing the research, I found an interesting report from the Barna Research Group regarding the spiritual significance of those four years. In his book, “Second Coming”, Barna notes “a majority of people who made a first-time decision for Christ were no longer connected to a church within just eight weeks of having made such a decision!” Given my disdain for the majority of programs and ministries for children and youth being offered in the church today, I could not put the study down, and quite frankly, I was not shocked by the reports.

The headline read: “Children are Loved But Not Well-Served Spiritually!”  And I quote:

“Despite a range of public policies designed to protect and nurture children, ranging from compulsory public education to protection from abuse and neglect, Americans seem willing to overlook the spiritual development of children. The research discovered that tens of millions of parents are satisfied by simply enrolling their children in church programs; they demonstrate little concern about the quality or effectiveness of those experiences. The significance of focusing on the development of children is underscored by findings showing:

“The moral foundations of children are typically solidified by the age of nine, that lifelong spiritual choices regarding one’s faith and one’s relationship with Jesus Christ are generally made before they reach age 13, and a person’s religious beliefs are usually worked out prior to becoming a teenager and those beliefs rarely change to any meaningful degree after age 13.”

Unfortunately, ‘exit interviews’ with teenagers reveal that the spiritual foundation laid by families and churches when they were younger is often inadequate. Comparatively few early teens say that they learned enough Bible content to enable them to make important life decisions on the basis of biblical principles. Further, most teenagers have already made up their minds that once they become independent of their parents they will abandon church.

Several Barna studies pointed out that most Christian churches evaluate success in terms of program attendance, child satisfaction and parental satisfaction, but do little to examine individual spiritual advancement. However, the ministries having the greatest success at seeing young people emerge into mature Christians, rather than contented church-goers, are those that facilitate a parent-church partnership focused on instilling specific spiritual beliefs and practices in a child’s life from a very early age. Sadly, less than one out of every five churches has produced such a ministry. (Barna Updates released May 6, July 8 and November 17 of 2003.)

The old adage, “as goes the family, so goes the Church, and as goes the Church, so goes the nation”, is proving to be true in this generation. These statistics not only foreshadow some serious trouble for the institutional Church, which Barna says, “is losing influence and adherents faster than any other major institution in the nation", but it is also another indication of the disintegration of our western culture – i.e., the American Society. Therefore, I urge you as husbands and wives – fathers and mothers to accept the challenge God has given you today: of course prove yourselves to be godly men and godly women in your marriage, and godly parents before your children, but more importantly, to validate the power and majesty and greatness of God above all else!

For it is not the loss of marriage or family that will destroy us as a nation; those are just the results of our loss of respect for the holiness of God! (Deut.6:1-9)

 - Pastor Wayne